Creating a reference point

In life, we all need a reference point or two. Because we can only judge circumstances and events by our own history and knowledge, the experiences that we have and observe are critical to our day-to-day mindset. That probably sounds a little clunky, so let me explain what I mean.

Before I started rock climbing and caving in early 2000, the extent of my outdoor experience was some hiking, mountain biking and horseback riding. That's it, nothing serious. But that year I became roommates with Matt, an outdoorsman extraordinaire.

The Story

Before I started rooming with Matt, my interest in climbing was absolutely zero. Somehow he convinced me to go with him one spring afternoon. He seemed to have a good time, and while I was an adequate belayer, I had very limited success with actual climbing. I just couldn't seem to get the hang of it.

On the third climbing trip, we worked on a route called Dream Realized, and I finished the route. Even though I had finally reached the top of a climb, I was bruised, scraped, tired and sore. As I lay in bed that night, I thought to myself, "I'm done. I've gotta tell Matt I don't want to go anymore. Climbing is hard and scary, and I'm not having any fun."


So, that was it. I was done. But as I lay there, my mind had a short, intense battle. Another, different voice - a voice I'd never "heard" before - spoke up. Not loud, but clear, concise and convincing.

Here's what it said:

"You're not climbing because it's fun. You're doing it because it's hard. You will keep climbing because it challenges you, because it is forcing you to grow, and because - in many ways - it is making you a better person. You will keep climbing, you will keep digging down inside yourself for strength, and you will refuse to quit."

I lay in bed for over an hour thinking about what I'd just heard. Immediately it rang true to me, and over the years I've been witness to the truth that I realized that night in bed. Rock climbing has become a sort of mental chess match with myself. And those who have the climbing bug will tell you that the sport is much more mental than physical. While you certainly develop physical strength, endurance and flexibility, you also develop the ability to think under pressure, stay calm when everything in your body is telling you to panic, and attempt the impossible while believing you'll succeed.

Most importantly, climbing forces you to eliminate all other thoughts. Oddly enough, your brain doesn't really care about a physics exam or a girl who flirted with you when it perceives that you're hanging by your fingertips, toes and teeth to the side of a sheer cliff with nothing but air underneath you.


That level of focus yields a clarity of thought, calm and relaxation - after the fact, of course - that I have come to expect and love.

In short, I have come to view rock climbing - as well as many other challenges in my life - as an opportunity for growth, and for practice, if you will. In my view, the harder I work right now, on the current challenge, the more strength, endurance and confidence I will have for the next challenge. And if I don't give up, I'll gain the reward of conquering the mountain, or whatever the challenge is.

Climbing can be extremely emotional. Even though you must maintain control of yourself to perform the movements and finish the climb, your emotions can certainly push you to work harder and keep from giving up.

One of my favorite moments: After a particularly tough climb, I got back to the ground, raised both fists in the air and let out a primal scream, followed by pointing at the top of the climb and yelling, "I own you!" The mountain had given me everything it had, and I had prevailed.

The Point
Life is hard. And you have choices. You can always take the path of least resistance - you can do what's easy, avoid challenges, and complain that it's not fair. (It isn't, by the way.) Or, you can challenge yourself to do what you, and only you, can do on this planet while you're here.

While music is rarely a life-threatening or hair-raising endeavor, it takes courage, tenacity, strength, endurance and focus to achieve greatness. Those who create great music are almost always those who have chosen to embrace the possibility of failure, to pursue the art with single-mindedness and continue to try and try and try.

Finally, let me leave you with this:

“Don’t die with your music still inside you. Listen to your intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs your soul. Listen to that inner voice, and don’t get to the end of your life and say, ‘What if my whole life has been wrong?” - Ralph Waldo Emerson


In all sincerity, friends: Happy drumming!

The Weight Room: "Come off trying!"

When I was in college, I was a fairly serious rock climber. I had a small group of friends that I literally trusted with my life on a daily basis. (If you've never been climbing, rappelling or spelunking, it can be hard to understand this concept. But in order to participate, you must put your life and safety in the hands of your belay or partners.)

Often when climbing, we would come across an especially difficult section or sequence, and it was common to need multiple tries to complete the problem. Sometimes it would just simply be too frightening, and you'd either burn yourself out by hesitating too long before the attempt, or you'd simply come down and give up.

It didn't take us long to institute this rule: If you're going to come off (fall), come off trying. Quite simply, it became unacceptable to come off the rock without giving your absolute full effort.

Because of this mindset, it is of great concern to me when I see students who quit music without giving themselves a legitimate chance to succeed. I talked about this a little bit in an earlier post, but nothing makes me more grumpy than seeing a student pass up an opportunity to do something great either because they lack vision or are unwilling to exert themselves.

"It's too hard," and, "I can't do this," have stopped many a promising student from progressing, both in climbing and in music.

When we started to enforce the "come off trying" rule while climbing, some interesting things happened. I'll highlight only two.

1. We would often surprise ourselves by completing the move. I can remember a sort of switch that would flip in my brain that said, "I know I'm not gonna die, so I'm just gonna do this!" And frequently I would do more than I thought I could. 
2. Along with accomplishing more, even failing and falling served to increase our confidence and reduce our fear. You took a risk, you didn't die, and if you failed you were all the more determined to keep trying until you succeeded. Truly - scrapes, cuts and bruises became badges of honor. We still call them "battle scars."

One of my most successful drum students came to me as a forty-something mother of five. I can't remember the exact words, but she said something along the lines of, "My kids have all had their chance to learn music, now it's my turn." 

She was never afraid of or intimidated by anything I asked her to do, and never got embarrassed if she didn't understand at first or couldn't do something right away. She just gave it everything she had, and kept trying until she got it. She embodied - and still does - the "come off trying" mentality. 

That was over ten years ago, and today she is still playing in a successful local band with some other amazing women. They rock!

I understand that music and drumming - like rock climbing - may not be for everyone. But I also believe that you can't know that without trying. And I mean really trying, working hard and giving your best effort before you decide to go another direction. And for the vast majority of us, work and effort will result in success!

May you work hard, achieve success and always come off trying!