It takes a village, Part 2 of 2

This is part two of a two part series about getting the most out of private lessons by guest blogger Emily Sorensen*. For part one, click here. 

Parental involvement is absolutely critical for student success, regardless of the instrument and age when beginning lessons. I was once told that if your child is taking lessons then you as the parent are too; this is especially true of younger students. So if you have a basic understand of things you can expect to do as part of the team it becomes easier to support your student and make the decision to invest in lessons. So here are some things you can expect of yourself.

• Communicate

Again, the importance of communication cannot be overstated. As a parent you need to be aware of the teaching schedule and how it aligns with your family’s schedule; very few family commitments truly sneak up on us. Family vacations, school concerts/performances, holiday parties and most other family activities find their way onto our calendars well in advance and it isn’t unfair for teachers to expect and require at least 24 hours notice to reschedule a lesson with no repercussions. You can expect that if you fail to notify your teacher 24 hours in advance that you won’t receive a make-up lesson AND you still have to pay for the lesson time you canceled. Make life less complicated and save money by marking your calendar a week in advance of a planned missed lesson to notify your teacher. If you know you are going to be missing several lessons during an extended period of time (ie-summer break or an exceptionally busy family time) consider taking a leave of absence and getting on your teacher’s waiting list until you can more consistently focus on lessons. 

You should feel comfortable talking to your student’s instructor about questions or concerns about any part of music lessons. Learning to play a musical instrument is similar to learning a foreign language. It takes time, consistent effort and a lot of practice time. Your teacher is familiar with the process of learning lessons and can help you coach and encourage your student at home, so feel free to bring questions to lessons or call or email the instructor as agreed upon. 

• Pay on time

One of the best things you can do for your student’s experience is pay on time. Unless your student is paying for their own lessons it can get awkward for your student to have to deal with the financial aspect of lessons and can be hard for them to focus in their lessons or to bring home the message to you about paying. It is much easier for all parties if you take on the responsibility of making sure payments are made on time.

• View lessons as an investment

Music lessons are a gateway to future opportunities. It is also important to remember that learning an instrument is a progressive experience; each skill needs to be mastered before moving to the next in order to have success. In a previous post about knowing if you’re getting a good deal (link here) I talked at great length the points that help you know if your investment is worth it. At some point your student could use their skills to help pay for a college education. And really, if the goal is to learn something new and to participate in the creative process, well that’s a lifetime investment.

• Expect reality and train for goal behaviors

Your student will experience plateaus, discouraging times and growing pains while learning an instrument. It’s like weight training, losing weight or any other skill that requires mastery. There are plateaus. Expect it and prepare for it. But in the same vein, there will also be many, many moments of intense excitement too! Every time they nail that riff they’ve been struggling to learn, the times when they finish a method book, when they master their recital piece. Well it’s those exciting times that help pull them through the growing pains and plateaus. As a parent when those plateaus come, encourage and remind them of the great times and sometimes you may have to be a little persistent about helping them make through practice sessions. 

When a student starts lessons the goal is the consistently practice and to focus during the lesson time and being willing to stick it out during the frustrations too. All the promises that they will do it are soon forgotten when it’s hard and they feel frustrated. This may leave you wondering why you bought the instrument that isn’t being played and why you’re paying big bucks each month for lessons. As tempting as it is to get frustrated and discouraged right along with your student; don’t do it! This leads me to the next point.

• Take an active role

For the ultimate success of your student you can expect to take an active role in lessons. I was told as I was preparing to sign one of my children up for lessons at a young age, “oh, you’re taking lessons too?!?!” This was said in a joking manner and with a little sarcasm; however, I find it extremely true. If you are really ready for your student to be successful, go to lessons with your child, at least until you have coached your student into healthy practice habits; and especially go if you have a young student. You’re being at the lesson allows you to assist your students memory during practice times and coach them through specific items. If you are willing to be this proactive during the beginning of your students lessons, your student will have a higher rate of success, more enjoyment of their instrument and develop better habits through you role.

• Hold your student accountable

This is the absolute most important expectation for your student’s success. When your student signs up for lessons make sure they understand they are agreeing to be consistent about practicing their instrument, showing up to lessons and working to learn. THEN hold them accountable to their end of the agreement. 

Your student will not magically learn an instrument or improve on what they know simply by walking into a private music instructor’s studio. Many students think that by simply showing up at lessons with no other work or practice they will become this amazing rock star or concert musician. And then become confused, frustrated and quit when it doesn’t work out as they imagined it would. NEWS FLASH! It doesn’t work that way. Any way you look at it, learning to play an instrument takes work. Hold your student responsible for their potential and encourage them to do what it takes and then follow through with them. 

Many factors lead influence your student’s success in private music lessons. Be assured that it is a team effort. The teacher, the student or the parent cannot make it happen alone. There will be times when the student is extremely discouraged and often as parents we’re ready to allow them to quit because we’re already over booked. Take it all into consideration, but be aware as you have and follow expectations for yourself and your student’s teacher the team effort will make it easier to continue and get over the “growing pains” of learning something new.

Best to you and your student as you embark on an amazing journey in music education and creation!

*Yep, Emily is my wife and best friend. She's also an experienced musician and was the administrator at our music teaching studio where she worked with about 20 teachers and over 100 students. She dealt with all of the day-to-day operations, including interfacing with parents and students. In short, she knows her stuff.

Getting Paid

I’ve said more times than I can count while working out the financial details of a gig, “I hate the money part of this.” And I really do. The worst part of being a freelancer is the discussion about money, because your service, like any product, (and don’t kid yourself - it’s a product) is to be had for the lowest possible price. To quote a colleague of mine, “That’s why they call it show business, not show friends.”

Because I find the money aspect so uncomfortable, I’ve often said things like, “I wish I could play for free,” or this little chestnut, “Y’know, I play for free. You pay me to set up and tear down.”

But sometime over the last year, my mind and heart have changed. I do love to play. I would rather play than not play. And I do wish I could play for free. But what I mean by that is that I wish I was financially well off enough to do whatever I want every day - and what I want is to create amazing music with amazing people as often as possible. 

At the end of the day, I am getting paid to play. I’ll also set up and tear down as a part of the package. But if all a client wants is set up and tear down, they can get somebody else to do it a lot cheaper than I will. 

There are myriad reasons to expect - and get - a fair price for your services.

It has always been the case, but especially when the economy is down, people have a hard time paying for something they essentially see as a God-given talent. Especially with musicians, not only do people sometimes balk at paying a fair price, but they also ask for extra service without extra pay. 

One classic example is this: The evening is a complete success (and, of course, the band had nothing to do with it) and the party/reception/event is running longer than the original booking. Your client nonchalantly strolls over and says, “You don’t mind playing a little longer, right? Say, another half hour?” But at the end of the night, you get the amount you agreed upon, without the extra half hour. 

Seriously?! Do you say to the plumber, “I know I called you to fix the sink, but could you do the toilet while you’re here, too, and not charge me any extra?” Or to the doctor, “Hey, I know you’re working on my appendix, but since you’re already in there, how about the ol' gallbladder, too?”

Somehow a certain segment of humanity doesn’t view art and entertainment as a legitimate product. At least not like they see a car, or furniture or accounting services. Not only do they not want to pay a fair price, sometimes they don’t want to pay at all. For example...

I’ve only been truly “stiffed” one time. It was a DJ gig I took as a favor for a friend of mine who came down sick at the last minute. I was supposed to provide a sound system and some music at an elementary school holiday party/assembly. Somehow the communication wasn’t clear, because I thought all I was doing was playing music, and the principal was expecting games, dances (like the Hoky Poky, Chicken Dance, etc.) and more. 

At the end of the gig, I went to the principal to get a check, and she refused to pay. She said that I hadn’t done anything that she had expected, and that if I had a problem I could take it up with the district office. I was young and inexperienced, so I walked out with no cash, but having learned some huge lessons. 

Truth be told, there was fault on both sides. It is completely unprofessional to hire someone, allow them to set up, work the event and tear down and then not pay them a dime. But also, I had no business accepting a gig that I didn’t know anything about and wasn’t prepared to fulfill.

So, if you want to get paid, I recommend following a few simple rules when booking a gig. 

• Set up a base rate. For example, X number of dollars will get the client four musicians and a sound system for two hours.
• Give yourself a, “minimum wage.” In my case, there is a minimum limit that a gig must pay to make it worth the packing/loading, wear and tear, fuel and missed opportunities. You may think this will cut you out of gigs, and it may at first. But if you’re not willing to set a minimum, then you will get taken advantage of. And if you’re a great player and a reliable, workable human being, people will pay your reasonable rate to get you on the gig. 
• Set up an overage rate. Say, for every hour over, the client will pay X number of dollars per musician, billed in 1/4 hour increments. If the time goes one minute over, you get paid for 1/4 hour. If it goes 31 minutes over, you get paid for 3/4 hour. This may seem very mercenary, but it will keep your client from abusing you. If you have this agreement in advance, the client knows exactly what they will be paying you for staying later, and you know that getting home late will be worth your time.
• Get the particulars in writing, and get a signature. This doesn’t necessarily have to be legally binding (although that’s not a bad idea), but if there’s any sort of disagreement, you have something to “remind” your client with.
• Get at least part of your pay in advance, and make part of it refundable. One reason is this: In the summer months, it’s not uncommon to get rained out of an outdoor gig. Make sure the client can’t pull the, “no play, no pay” card. They need to understand that you’re working, whether or not Mother Nature cooperates. 

Of course there are other things to think about, but getting in the habit of following these or similar rules will make the financial part of being a musician a lot easier to deal with.

The bottom line is that when you start viewing yourself as, and acting like, a professional, others will treat you that way.

Happy drumming!

Pro musician Ryan Tilby dishes on drummers

I asked Ryan Tilby, one of my favorite musicians - not to mention one of the smartest guys I know - to answer a few questions about drummers. Here's how it went down:

Here are my opinions on drummers.  I'll bet, as a bassist, I've worked with more drummers than any drummer.  I call my drummer friends when I need the low-down on a bassist.

What characteristics and attributes make a drummer "good?"

No matter the genre, style, or stage size, every drummer has a job.  The bass player (me!), has a job.  The front man has a job.  My favorite drummers have this uncanny ability to know just what their job is, do it effortlessly, and not step on the toes of the bassist, singer, etc. who's trying to do his job.  It takes a lot of listening, and a lot of knowing how the guys around you are thinking.

Aside from playing ability and musical skills, what makes a drummer easy to work with?

Stereotypes would have you believe that drummers, if they show up at all, will be late, lazy, loud, or drunk.  You'll notice that none of those have much to do with time, technique, or tone. While those things are important, remember that the guys you're playing with (or that hired you!) don't know much about your bearing edges and hand-hammering.  They just know what it feels like to play with you, and more of those feelings come from off-stage than on it.

What's the best compliment you could give a drummer?

As a bass player, if a drummer is listening to my lines and either locking in with me (with his kick!) or syncing with something complimentary, I'm super impressed.  Flattered, even.  Drummers that listen seem almost "invisible".  In my opinion, an invisible drummer is doing his job.

What's your most frequent complaint about drummers?

I'm scared by the number of drummers that don't know anything about bass playing, and vice-versa.  The relationship between kick and bass is CRUCIAL to any song, any genre.  There seems to be an influx of younger drummers right now that place kicks wherever they want them, and never in the same place twice.  Go spend $10 on the John Mayer Trio TRY! album and have your life changed.

Name the top thing that will keep a drummer from getting called for another gig.

Too many notes played too loudly.

Anything else you want to add, warn against or point out?

No matter what you play, expand your toolbox of true-to-the-style techniques and LISTEN!

Signed,

A working bassist.

Beyond the Kit: The Art of Performance (Repost)

On the road this week, so I'm recycling a post that I thought was appropriate going into festival season.

Occasionally I have the opportunity to serve as a judge or adjudicator at festivals and competitions. It's a great learning experience for me, as well, as I'm often looking for indicators of a musician's preparation beyond the music.

Here's what I mean.

Many times a musician is playing very well, but not performing well at all. The music may be really great, but performing means going beyond the music and presenting yourself well in all areas.

In a formal or school-type setting, like a recital, here are a few factors to consider:

1. Appropriate dress. You wouldn't show up to a rock concert in a tux, so why would you show up to a recital in a t-shirt? If there are any questions as to what is appropriate dress, ask the teacher or conductor - or your bandmates - or go online for some pictures or guidelines for the type of event you're playing at.

2. Speak clearly. Many a good performance has been ruined by sloppy language before the music starts. Again, ask your teacher for help or find some information online. A good place is to simply tell the audience clearly who you are and what you will be performing. If you don't know what to say, just  smile and play your piece. Let your music speak for you.

3. Stay in 'character.' Keep your composure! Keep a pleasant expression on your face, don't react to mistakes, and - unless it's part of your performance - don't let the audience affect you. Things are bound to happen - someone will sneeze, a baby will cry, you'll drop a stick, or whatever. Don't get frustrated, just keep playing.  If you have to stop (to pick up the stick!), just start back where you stopped and move forward as if nothing happened. If you don't make a big deal of it, chances are, neither will your audience.

4. Don't apologize. Before, during and after the performance, keep your game face on. Don't say things like, "I really didn't practice that much," or, "I'm not ready yet, so this isn't going to be that good," or anything before you play. Even if you know it's going to be terrible, refer to number 2 above.

During the performance, no matter how many mistakes you make, keep playing. Do not say, "Sorry," or, "Let me start over." Just keep going. Don't acknowledge your mistakes. If the absolute worst happens and you just can't finish, simply smile at your audience, bow or say, "Thank you," then walk off the stage. When the applause happens, acknowledge it with a nod, or bow and smile.

5. Accept compliments. Even when you feel like you've had the worst performance of your life, someone is bound to tell you how great you did. You'll want to say something like, "What?! Didn't you hear that? I was horrible!" But don't! Just say, "Thank you," and leave it at that.

6. Be prepared. Maybe the best way to build confidence is to be very well prepared. If you've practiced and polished your music until it shines, and you know you can play it very well, you'll have no trouble feeling good about the performance, and you'll have no reason to be awkward or ungracious.

7. Stay engaged. If you're not playing solo, make sure to support the other performer(s). Never give any impression that you're bored, tired or distracted in any way - even if you have to rest for 168 measures. If there is a solo going on, watch the soloist. If someone is singing, look in their direction. Try to let the audience and your fellow performers know that you are supporting them in any way that you can, even if you're not playing.

8. Don't distract. Even if it's a rock concert, there's a time to play and a time to keep quiet. Especially in between songs, don't practice or "noodle" on your instrument. Start together as a group, and end together as a group. Let all of the sounds you make be part of the music, and on purpose. You may think that everybody knows that you're making sure your snare drum is working, but all the audience hears is unnecessary noise.

Next time you go to a live concert, pay attention to what the performers do aside from playing music. You'll start to notice pretty quickly that some things make the performance better, and other things make it much worse.

With a little effort, you can not only play great music, but have a great performance, as well.

Happy drumming!